A Thought Experiment on the Existence of God

Today my favourite blogger John Gruber linked to a quote by Paul Jillett, in Jillett’s book, God No!: Signs You May Already Be an Atheist:

“There is no god, and that is the truth. If every trace of any single religion died out and nothing were passed on, it would never be created exactly that way again. There might be some other nonsense in its place, but not that exactly nonsense. If all of science were wiped out, it would still be true and someone would find a way to figure it out again. “

I find myself reflecting long and hard on this argument. As a Christian, I have some thought in response to reading this. I hope I don’t sound too defensive. 

It appears that the argument is built on a sound assumption of truth: that the truth is like a destination with many roads leading to it; no matter what path you take, it leads to the same place. Therefore, if you destroy all the religions and start over again, chances are that the path that we as people would take will lead to some gods who are different. That difference the shows that god doesn’t exist, but rather just stories that we fabricated and refined against the backdrop of our cultures and customs. Religions, in other words, fail the truth test.

I think the author has kind of gone out on a limb to suppose this scenario that all religions are to be destroyed when his point would have been more well served by observing the variety of religions that exist in our world today. If god is the truth, shouldn’t it be universally singular? And doesn’t matter what cultures we come from, i.e., the path that we take, shouldn’t we reach the same God? Since we don’t, therefore any religious indoctrination cannot exist as part of the truth. 

It is a good test for the truth. It is great to use it to test the truism in scientific principles and theorems. But this reasoning tool falls short when we apply this to a bigger truth, such as one involving God: to suggest that we as human will arrive at exact science points if we were to start everything over again is to suggest that our views of the laws of physics are final and no new discovery can significantly alter the course of our scientific understanding; in other words, that we have arrived at the destination, where all roads brown un-covered by reasoning and logics will lead to. That is simply not true. Even scientists themselves will tell you that is not true. Hypothetically speaking, if we are to start over again with science, will we again get tripped up in thinking that particle is like a billiard ball, as suggested by Bohr, or will we wrongfully neglect the wave properties in our description of nucleus? To me, even some scientific principles falls author’s own truth test. In the spirit of science, truth is the truth until it is disproven. With science, we have yet arrived at a destination, but rather, we have only stopped at a gas station. So if I were to take this trip again, there may very well be a good chance I will not end up at the same place. Does it mean sciences are not the truth? No.

We are part of a story that continues to evolve and our views of the world is transient in nature. I think it is fair to accept that not all data has been observed to create a principle of everything. And without the “complete” data, there are always a chance scientific principles can be struck down by even the scientific means. 

At the end of the day, the truth of God is accepted by the followers by faith, not by reason and logic. The difference between those with faith in God and the ones who don’t believe in God is that the former is willing to reconcile the truth that we understand by reasons with the truth given by God through faith while the latter simply just accept the unproven as being unknown. Either way is fine with me. I think when we talk about science and God, we have the tendency to treat them as two different brand of truth. But I think that is the wrong way of looking at it; rather, God is the truth (to Christian) and science is the pursuit of truth (to all). 

再見 奶奶

Ever since I move to Canada from Taiwan in the summer of 1996, I have paid visits, sometimes reluctantly, to my grandma back in Taiwan almost every year. I had to do that because my dad always says my grandma loves me very much and that is the least I can do. She passed on last night and is now with the Lord. I want to dedicate this in remembrance of her. What follows is a collection of some of the stories that I remember most vividly of my grandma.

In the summer of 2000, I was in grade 11 when I visited Taiwan. Over a discussion about me getting a part time job, I flipped out on my dad. A little background: I wanted to buy nice clothes because it was high school and back then it was all about fitting in, especially appearance-wise. I then decided to pick up a part time job to work at Burger King. Eager to make money, I even took up some graveyard shifts that go into 2am. And afterward I would walk 45min to a friend’s house where I stayed. Back to that discussion in Taiwan, my dad was trying to convince me that it is not worthwhile to work for such a meagre salary, and I snapped back to argue that I did that because my allowance is simply way too small for me to afford the clothes that will look cool. As the discussion escalates to argument, and then to me rambling some non-sense in English, my grandma broke into the discussion and said, “Enough. Speak Chinese, because I can’t understand you anymore.” That was that. Later in life though, I would learn that when she first learned about me getting a job and having to walk home in 2am in the morning, she cried and begged my dad to give me more allowance so I can afford a stupid pair of Diesel to look cool. 

In that same summer of 2000, I remember on a nice car drive out in an afternoon with my grandma and dad, my grandma, who was sitting right behind me in the car, leaned over toward the front passenger seat to pat me on the shoulder and said, “Ah Gang [what she called me], You are all grown up now! I will buy you a car, okay?” My face beamed because I wanted a car for so long to get around in Calgary, and mostly importantly, because I want to be cool in my school. “Okay!” I enthusiastically replied.

Fast forward a few months, in spring of 2001 back in Calgary, I just found out from my dad that I am not getting that car that my grandma has promised. Crushed, I threw a fit at my dad over the phone but soon found my grandma on the other end of the line, “Ah Gang,” she said calmly and almost apologetically, ” I really want to get you a car, but I find myself unable to sleep at the thought of your getting into accident and no one will be there to help. We will wait until you are older.”

“Sure,” I snapped and hung up.

The summer of 2002 was the summer that I just finished high school. I had 2 months off, but decided not to return to Taiwan. My grandma was already too unhealthy to visit me in Canada and certainly wanted to see me. But I stubbornly refused her because I had no friends in Taiwan and previous summers that I’ve spent there were just absolutely brutal. Plus, I had met a girl whom I would rather spend the summer with. That was beginning of a stretch where I didn’t get to see my grandma for a good year and half.    

The winter of 2003 approached suddenly when I got a call from my dad that grandma was in the emergency room. At the time, it struck me hard that she may not be there to see my return. I recall me making an entry on my now-defunct blog asking her to wait, and to wait for me to come back and say my good-bye. And thank the Lord that she waited; yes she’ve waited.

I got a summer internship in Taiwan in the summer of 2004. It was my wild years. I was back in Taiwan, finally of legal age, making enough money to sustain my party life. At the same time, I was also into internet dating. The experience gave me the validation that I’ve long sought. Every weekend, I will fill my calendar with dates and at night I will shuttle between night clubs to indulge skin-deep satisfaction. I remember I would get frustrated when my family would ring me up a few hours before my date and ask me to come home to dinner instead. And my grandma, being a modern woman she was, would look at me in the eyes and say sarcastically, “Okay, Ah Gang! We will make sure we make an appointment with you next time we want to see you.” I did not enjoy the sarcasm at a time but in a few sharp words she exposed me of my selfishness.

Toward the end of that wild summer, an event was seared vividly into my memory. I brought a girl whom I was seeing at a time back home on a Sunday. It was in the middle of the day and the only other person there was my grandma. I remember I brought her in to meet my grandma, and the meeting was short and pleasant. And afterward we just hung out in the back. Later that night, after the girl left, my grandma brought me into her room. She looked at me intensely for a few seconds, and the tears began to stream down. She pleaded me, “Ah Gang, it broke my heart to see you like this. I cannot control what you do out there. But she is not for you.” I was totally taken back as that was the first time, and the only time, my grandma showed interests in my dating life. I was angry with my grandma for putting me in this position. Although I can’t understand why my grandma sees in this girl that upsets her so much, I knew then that I needed to be more responsible in my search because grandma really cared.

From 2003 up till now, I visit her every year at least once, if not twice. But over these visits, I start to observe her memory start to fade, and her time in bed or in a chair start to grow. I recall sitting by her bed side, trying to talk to her, but the same few questions would never amount to a conversation. Thankfully, this time I did not come home alone — I have brought Crystal back with me. Even though my grandma was unable to speak much, Crystal has gotten grandma to laugh together with us; and that, in so many ways, was already better than many of the conversations and arguments I have had with my grandma. 

Earlier this year, 2011, my grandma again had a health complication and ended up in the emergency room. Luckily, Crystal and I were there by her bedside. Cheering her up, showing her YouTube video (Thanks to the free wifi in emergency room!), holding her hands, hugging her. That was new to me because I was never a touchy-feely person but my dad and my aunt would tell me that is how she feel other people’s presence. Now I am glad that I have held her hands because I will never forget how gentle she was when she grips my hands and smiled at me. It was as if she has found her way to show me her love even when she couldn’t speak of it.  

We live in the world that emphasizes on mutual affections and on the ideas that giving should be reciprocated with receiving, but my grandma, who had walked with the Lord through all uncertainties, transcended these expectations. 

I was not an easy child to love. My grandma would probably be the first person to tell you that. Like a lot of teenagers, I focus on myself a lot more than I focus on others. When I am upset, I am pretty reckless with my emotion and my dad and my grandma were probably the first people to bare the brunt of it. The reality in all this is that she had to step into the role of a mother to a child, a silly and immature child that I was, and used her limited life to nurture me through the most violent and rebellious years. In these years, she loved me, even when I was difficult, unappreciative, and selfish; and she never ceased to care for me, even when my tendency to disappoint her often provides her less motivation to do so. In the Bible we learn that love is a thankless task, and a chore. And most of the time, loving someone is unrewarding. Regardless, she loved in usual stubborn way, as Jesus loved us.

To end, I wished I grew up faster. I wished I studied the bible a little more. That way I could have made it more clear to her that I do love her through my actions and my words. It’s okay though; because knowing how un-selfish she is, it would have been enough for her if I can love people around me as she had loved. One last story: one of the last real conversation that I have had with my grandma took place many years ago. She said, “Take care of your dad.” 

Okay, Grandma.